


Her Sorrow

by loveowls9



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Lavilena, Nothing Affects the Canon Content of DGM, Post-Chapter 224, Post-Chapter 224 Canon Divergence, Post-DGM Hallow, Sad times, The Order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 01:11:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11197326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveowls9/pseuds/loveowls9
Summary: It had been weeks since Allen left, with Johnny and Kanda seeming to have followed. Lavi hadn’t been seen even prior to Allen’s disappearance, having been on a mission with the Third Exorcist conflict. The Order was still in chaos, with corruption seeping from within. The halls of the Order’s ‘new’ building felt so barren with the few remaining members that they had. They were rarely sent on their missions anymore, as the Order feared the loss of more members.Lenalee hadn’t felt this lonely in a long time; she felt the tremors of her time isolated in the Order, with them forcing her innocence into her. It was meant to be an opportunity, the innocence choosing you; just as this new building was meant to be an opportunity. Change. Change was something Lenalee was growing more and more wary of. How many people had she lost to its’ hands?---Lenalee Lee is the last member of the main four with a confirmed alive status. Feeling depressed and desperate, she's determined to do whatever she can to find even one of them.





	Her Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after Kanda had left to find Allen, and Lavi has been missing since the Alma Karma incident. 
> 
> My friend loves this ship, and there isn't a lot of content on them. Rather, there's just about none. I also really enjoy this ship, so I thought I'd try my hand at this DGM fic. So, dedicated to my friend, Lauren, here's my LaviLena fic!

It had been weeks since Allen left, with Johnny and Kanda seeming to have followed. Lavi hadn’t been seen even prior to Allen’s disappearance, having been on a mission with the Third Exorcist conflict. The Order was still in chaos, with corruption seeping from within. The halls of the Order’s ‘new’ building felt so barren with the few remaining members that they had. They were rarely sent on their missions anymore, as the Order feared the loss of more members. 

Lenalee hadn’t felt this lonely in a long time; she felt the tremors of her time isolated in the Order, with them forcing her innocence into her. It was meant to be an opportunity, the innocence choosing you; just as this new building was meant to be an opportunity. Change. Change was something Lenalee was growing more and more wary of. How many people had she lost to its’ hands? 

Currently, the only people in the massive building were Komui, Miranda, Bak, and Krory. Klaud Nine was in charge of supervising and guarding the members in the building, as the Order had created a system stating that a general would be with every member of the order at all times, for their own safety. It wasn’t as if they were constantly peering over their shoulders, they were more in the general area, to help if something were to happen. Socalo was with the members that had been called out with an urgent call of akuma, in the middle of Japan. Some of the scientists went along, in a desperate attempt to find another solution to the akuma problem, other than innocence. There was also the rumor that Tiedoll was with Kanda, which Lenalee only could hope was true. 

Lenalee had resolved herself not to cry until she had found at least one, just one of her friends alive. Allen was AWOL, Kanda had returned and left, Lavi… who knew what happened to Lavi… She wasn’t new to the feeling of her turned off emotions. Komui had shown especial concern for the condition of his sister. 

In the background, he was looking for possible routes that could give them access to the Noah’s portals and transportation. He had been working primarily in the area where Allen had left with the Noah; it was their best opportunity. Perhaps, they could trace the waves of the Noah’s power, as it was somewhat similar to that of innocence. 

They had also found traces of something within Chaozii, and were analyzing it in their lab. It seemed to be something living, but it was slowly dying. Komui had determined that it may be parasitic, and need to have a host. Although, it didn’t seem to have had been thriving off of Chaozii. It really was a mystery.

\---

Lenalee wondered the halls, the only sound being the sound of her own feet. She found herself walking towards the lab. She pushed the doors open, not surprisingly finding no one, and walked in. She looked longingly at the examination tables, flasks, and her brother’s scrambled work; she wanted nothing more than for things to go back to how they were. Johnny and Tup working well together, with Reever scolding Komui for his hectic work space. A smile lingered on Lenalee’s face for a second, but before long there was but a ghost of it. 

A noise across the room startled the young exorcist, and drew her closer. The container the organism that had been in Chaozii was trembling, and letting out a quiet high pitched squeal. It seemed to be trying to leave the container. 

Lenalee didn’t seem to have any rhyme or reason for taking the container in her hands, except for perhaps the small chance that it’d lead he to a Noah. A Noah could tell her where they had taken Allen. 

Without removing it from its’ container, she followed the way it seemed to be trying to go. When she hit an outer wall, she hesitated. Lenalee wasn’t one to put herself in danger, if only because others would follow her; others could die because of her, it was one of her absolute worst nightmares. It was right up there with her being surrounded by her dead friends, all of them, just dead on the ground around her. 

She wouldn’t go far, she thought as she jumped from the window. Her dark boots softened her landing, and she continued on. Eventually, it took her to a location that trudged up dark memories. It was the place that Allen left. Her new gloomy mood made her rethink going any further out, but then a strong gust of wind blew; with her hair that had reached about two or three inches below her shoulders flying into her face. A second passes where she has her eyes closed, but when she opens her eyes, there’s a shining light.

The portal, just like when Allen had left. The portal that they had been hoping to reopen. She knew it was probably a bad idea, but something about entering the portal felt right to her. The other end could lead to Allen, Lavi, a Noah that could tell her something, anything. 

She glanced back to the place she now had to call home, hoping that when she returned it may actually be able to become her home. A brief pause is caused by her prayers that everyone in the order may stay safe, and that she could return to them. With that, Lenalee stepped through the portal.

\---

The room was nearly pitch black, a candle on its last bit of wick was still lit, providing the only source of light throughout the entire room. It took a second for Lenalee’s eyes to adjust enough to be able to see anything. What she saw nearly made her tear up.

In a chair, wrists tied down, sat Lavi. No one else seemed to be in the room, but Lenalee was happy enough with finding one of her lost companions. Lavi seemed to be unconscious, and he had no reaction to her having entered the room. It was strange, she had never seen Lavi sleep anything more than very lightly- he hardly slept at all! It made sense, as he was meant to be a Bookman in the near future, but it was alarming in this situation. 

She bolted over to him, using her dark boots to accelerate the process. The organism in the container, also, seemed to be drawn towards Lavi. Lenalee lightly tapped Lavi’s shoulder, as if her could break at any moment. Rather, he looked like he would break, even without her contact. 

In the dim light, she could see something crawl out of him. It was an organism that was nearly identical to the one that was in Chaozii. Lenalee carefully opened the container, a confused and curious look on her face. The organisms joined to one, then immediately stopped moving. Had it died? She touched the being, it was stone cold, and shriveled up with her touch. 

Lenalee didn’t have time to react to the parasite’s disappearance, as Lavi began to slowly move. She quickly untied him from the chair. His eyes cracked open with him still in his hunched position. 

“Bo...m,” he spoke. Lenalee couldn’t interpret what he was trying to convey, but she gave him time. He clearly wasn’t quite with it; in fact, he most likely needed immediate medical attention. 

She cast Lavi’s arm over her shoulder, and supported his limp body with her other arm. The two staggered to the, still open, portal. Lenalee still couldn’t interpret what he was trying to say, yet she hadn’t been so happy in the many solitary weeks. Her plan was to take him back, and hopefully between Komui and Bak, he’d be safe and in physically stable condition. There’s no telling how his mental state may be.

\---

Lavi’s condition had been stabilized, and he was sleeping with a regular stream of painkillers. The infirmary was bare, aside from Lavi and Lenalee. Lenalee was dozing off at his bedside when he awoke. 

He looked around in a daze, confused as to where he was. “Lenalee?” The young exorcist asked, but it came out unintentionally quiet.

Her eyes sprung open, and she was on her feet in a matter of seconds. “Lavi! Are you okay? What happened?” 

Lavi remembered what had transpired with the Noah, why he had been let free- well, as far as Sheril considered free. He shot up into a sitting position, only for his body to give out and he fell back onto his elbows on the rickety bed. “Bookman! Do you know where he is?” 

Lenalee looked away from Lavi’s gaze with a sad look on her face, giving him all the information he needed. 

He leaned his head back onto the pillow, “Was it just me?” 

She responded with a simple nod, obviously feeling bad that she couldn’t have done more about the situation. 

Lavi sighed, “I’m fine… you asked what happened?” He let out a humorless laugh, “It’s all my fault.” Lenalee looked at him with her head cocked to the side, prompting him to go on. “Bookman… the Noah…” He took a minute to compose his thoughts, and Lenalee gave him his time to do so. “The Noah took Bookman and me, trying to get information about the Fourteenth, about how to kill it. They used me as leverage to get Bookman to comply.” His breathing hitched, and Lenalee took his hand and squeezed it, giving him some support. 

“Bookman refused, for a long time. Then the Sixth used his power on me, along with Chaozii, and threatened our lives. I’m his successor, anyone else, and he’d still be safe. They would’ve had no leverage.” Lenalee could see that he that he was putting all the blame on himself, and feeling the full brunt on the guilt. She could relate to the feeling, Komui had joined the Order just for her; he gave up his entire life’s potential for this place. 

“The Sixth linked the parasite in me to Chaozii’s; I needed that other piece to survive. But, I really shouldn’t have survived…” He cast a downward glance and a crease between his eyebrows formed.

Lenalee wasn’t particularly used to this side of Lavi, but she had seen it a few times before. She hugged Lavi, and tears fell out of her eyes. She was crying for him and his situation, but the idea of him possibly leaving again made her never want to let go. 

“Lena...lee…” After a moment, he hugged her back. In this life as ‘Lavi’ he’d grown dangerously close to the people around him, maybe even moreso around Lenalee. She was like the sun to the whole of the order, and helped them all get through the days.

“Lenalee,” he spoke again, “Thank you for everything, but I have to leave to-” He felt her tense at his words, and pulled back from her. She looked like she was going to cry a whole new set of tears. 

She sniffled, “Those are the words Allen said, when he left to… Almost everyone is gone, Lavi, why is this happening to our family? Is this really what our world has become?”

Lavi paused, “I’m so sorry Lena, I wouldn’t have said that if I was… there to have known.” He winced, if he had been there; that was his only purpose in the world, and he still couldn’t accomplish it. “So, Allen still hasn’t come back? What about Yuu?”

Lenalee shook her head in response, “It’s easier to ask, who is still here…” Lavi hadn’t, personally, seen her ever look as depressed as she did in that moment. He pulled her back into a hug; this affection probably came from her, before his current life, he wouldn’t have ever comforted someone. 

She leaned into the hug, as well. “Please, don’t leave me.” It came out as a whisper, but Lavi could still hear it. He didn’t pull out of the hug, but internally he panicked quite a bit. This is what he was forbidden from doing, getting involved with people and possibly altering the course of events. A Bookman wasn’t allowed to get close to someone, not unless they were going to be their successor, and even then- heavy emotions were not allowed. 

He still had to find Bookman, so his life as ‘Lavi’ would probably continue for awhile longer, but he didn’t want to lie to Lenalee and say that he wouldn’t leave. It wasn’t his choice.

After he didn’t say anything in response, Lenalee spoke again, “Everyone keeps disappearing, I don’t want to be alone again.” 

Lavi imagined Komui was still around, but with Lenalee’s mood at the time, he determined that it was a bad time to ask. Even so, he could relate to the feeling of everyone you know leaving your life, he’s gone through it enough times to have that feeling pounded into his skull. But, he knew that she was not trained for this, this was something that she would, likely, never get used to. She wasn’t that kind of person. She wasn’t a cold-hearted Bookman. 

“I… can’t promise I’ll never leave, and I have to find Bookman. I have to know if he’s okay, or-,” He cuts himself off. If Bookman isn’t okay, then he’s the Bookman. He found himself ready before, but he had made the mistake of getting close to people in this time. 

“I won’t let you leave.” Lenalee pouted. Lavi knew where this behavior was going, she was going to, “If you want to look for Bookman, we look for Bookman together. Maybe we can find Allen and Kanda along the way.”

There it was, the optimistic side of Lenalee. Yes, she was sad, but he had given her hope again. He didn’t want to put her into harm's’ way, but he also knew that she wasn’t a little girl that couldn’t take care of herself. Even if Lavi rejected her statement, she’d follow; together, they would work better than two separate forces. At the same time, Lavi was worried that a similar situation may arise where one of them would be threatened for information. He wasn’t confident enough in himself to be sure that, if Lenalee was tortured, he wouldn’t reveal classified Bookman archives. 

He felt a tug on his shirt; it was Lenalee, looking at him with a defiant look. Somehow, she always seemed to see him better than everyone. She was good at reading him, even when he tried to hide everything. 

A Bookman couldn’t rely on anyone, but, perhaps, Lenalee could rely on him. 

“Okay,” he spoke quietly. His eyes were in a downcast. Lavi was looking into her eyes, but also somewhere else. A place no one could see, the sorrow of his own mind. He’d seen countless people in history die, but this time he wouldn’t let the massacre happen. “If I go, you go. When can I leave?” 

His body still didn’t feel right. The parasite had nearly killed him, despite the Noah’s promise to Bookman. 

“Nii-san said that you’d need two weeks bed-rest at least, but… I know how quickly you sometimes heal, so, a week.” She affirmed with a nod. “We can leave in a week.”

Lavi didn’t want to wait that long, but he supposed that she wouldn’t let him change her mind. Lenalee would probably keep a very watchful eye on him, as well. 

“Let Komui know, okay? You don’t want him to worry and come searching for you, right? It may be best to not let the Order know about our plans, but he’d do anything for you Lenalee. If you’re set on this, he isn’t going to stop you, but you’re all he has, too.” 

She lets a small smile reside on her face. Lenalee knew what Lavi had said to be true. Someday, she wanted everyone to be able to smile again together, and this was the first step in that journey. Her head nods in agreement. 

“Komui probably won’t be too keen on you leaving alone with a guy, though.” He laughs slightly with his humor returning, a bit. It felt nostalgic, even though it wasn’t all that long ago when he did act bright and happy. 

Lenalee shows a playful scowl, and lightly hits Lavi’s chest. “We’re all family, you’re part of our family, Lavi. We’ll be your home, and we’ll be your support- that’s what we do for each other. Even with Nii-san’s personality, he still loves you. We’re here for each other…” She trails off. “Please remember that.” 

A hug engulfs Lenalee. Lavi had caught her off guard; he hadn’t initiated any form of affection the entire time he was back, and he rarely did it without a playful means. “Thank you.” Lenalee vaguely hears Lavi respond, barely hearing it despite their close contact. She smiled into the hug. With Lavi by her side, she felt much more confident. 

They were going to bring back everyone they could, and hopefully, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Lenalee would all be able to smile and laugh together, once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ^^
> 
> I haven't read or watched DGM in some time; I read the manga, as it comes out, but there hasn't been a chapter for awhile, so I may be a bit rusty on the characters and maybe even events. Apologies for anything that doesn't line up with the canon, when referencing the past. The story line is sometimes hard to follow, and thank everything I wasn't writing something with the current Allen- all that Fourteenth business with Neah and Mana messes me up.


End file.
